Stay With Me
by AO4ever
Summary: What happens when some of their own become victims themselves. Eventually Olivia and Alex share a bond that becomes unbreakable. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: I haven't written in years so excuse me if this just completely sucks...**

"Benson." Olivia pulled her phone out of her pocket and answered as she walked out of the precinct completely exhausted.

"Hello to you too Detective." Alex smirked when the detective answered. She was stuck at her office late again. She had been for the last week.

"Counselor, what can I do for you?" Olivia was still completely in work mode. Cragen told her to go home and not come in the following day. She hadn't left the 1-6 in days. This last case had her drained.

"Stop by my office, Liv? I have a few questions about the case." The ADA knew it was the last thing Olivia would want to talk about. Alex heard Olivia take a deep breath and sigh.

"I'll be there soon. I was just heading out of the precinct." Olivia got into her car and just stared out of the windshield.

"Thank you Detective. I'll see you when you arrive." Alex looked down at her paper work as they said goodbye. She knew the case was taking a toll on everyone working it.

There was a knock on the door as she was getting lost in another report. She looked up from her desk and saw Olivia standing in the doorway. Alex couldn't help but smile when she saw Olivia. Well, that was if they weren't arguing over a case. She had always been drawn to the brunette woman. No one would ever know though. Alex was an extremely private person. She had spent so much time creating a name for herself, she refused to let her personal life interfere. Plus, there was no way in hell Olivia would ever feel the same way about her.

"You needed to see me Alex?" Olivia said quietly as she was still standing in the door way. She smiled as she went in and closed the door. Behind her smile though, you could see the exhaustion.

"Just a few questions, Liv. This case is driving me insane and making me look over my shoulder constantly." Alex looked back down at her documents and sighed. Two female prosecutors had already been attacked in the last week. Both were followed into their homes, beaten and raped.

After they finished up Olivia stood up to go. She could see the look on Alex's face as the blonde watched her.

"Liv, when was the last time you had an actual meal?" Alex looked up at Olivia with her piercing blue eyes.

"Excluding vending machine food? Like a week ago before this case." Olivia looked down at the floor.

"Wanna grab dinner with me? We can pick it up and head back to my apartment. I don't want to really be alone tonight." The blonde bit her bottom lip nervously. This case had gotten her a lot more worried than she really wanted to admit.

"If you wanna go ahead and head home, I'll pick up dinner and be just a few minutes behind you. Chinese sound okay?" Olivia gave her a small smile.

"Sounds good. I'll see you when you get there." Alex was putting all of her files into her brief case and stood up.

Both women went their separate ways for the time being. What Alex didn't know was the Olivia did share the same feelings. She had suppressed them just like the younger woman. She had loved Alex from the first time she saw her walking through the doors of the squad room. Pulling into Alex's apartment complex she suddenly had this gut feeling something wasn't right.

Walking up to Alex's apartment she heard screaming. Olivia knew it was Alex. She didn't even take the time to call for back up. She grabbed her gun and turned the safety off. Busting through the door with her gun drawn she saw Alex being attacked by a guy in a ski mask with a knife in his hand. He had Alex's clothes ripped off of her, bruises were already starting to form.

"NYPD step away from the woman." Olivia shouted as her gun was pointed towards the masked gentleman. She saw him press the knife closer to Alex's skin. "I said move away from the woman." Olivia shouted again." This time the man got off of Alex but charged at Olivia with the knife. She fired a shot and hit his shoulder. He was still coming towards her. She shot once more before the man fell to the ground. She kicked the knife away and cuffed the masked man.

"This is Detective Olivia Benson, I need a bus and a transport vehicle." Olivia pulled her phone out shaking. The man that was pinned under her knee was moaning in pain, calling her a bitch and that she should have been next. At that point in time though, she shifted her focus to the younger woman on the couch crying.

"Alex I have a bus on the way. I'm sorry I should have just followed you right over here." Olivia was blaming herself. Alex didn't say a word but slumped against the detective. He did a number on her before she had gotten there, her face was bloodies and bruised. When help got there they got statements from Alex and Olivia and took the perp to the hospital. They checked Alex out and she refused to go to the hospital. Olivia refused to let Alex go. She sat there and held Alex close to her. Neither woman said a word for what felt like hours.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here faster." Olivia whispered.

"Don't blame yourself." Alex looked down trying not to cry again.

"I should have been able to save you sooner. Then he wouldn't have had the chance to go as far as he did." Olivia pulled Alex closer.

"You saved me though. That's what matters. He could have done a lot more than this." She sadly pointed at her face. Alex yawned and looked down again. She was exhausted but afraid to sleep.

"Lets get you in bed Al." Olivia said softly.

"Only if you stay with me." Alex was on the verge of tears again.

"I'll stay until you fall asleep then I'll come out here and sleep on the couch." Olivia stood up helping Alex up. The cover that the blonde had covering her up slipped down.

"No Olivia. Stay with me. Sleep next to me. Just whatever you do don't leave me. Please." Alex was shaking and closed her eyes. Olivia knew she couldn't tell her no. She simply nodded and walked with her to the bedroom, turning the lights off at they went.

"Just hold me, please." Alex said defeated as they slipped into bed.

"I'm sorry Alex. I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner." Olivia was trying not to break. She was still blaming herself.

"But you saved me Liv. I was luckier than the others. I had a beautiful bad ass detective come to my rescue." Alex said softly. She was still so overwhelmed by everything. She knew that tomorrow they would both have to go down to the station. She would be the victim. Alexandra Cabot was not used to being the victim and it showed.

Olivia just pulled Alex closer to her and held her. There was no more she could say. Nothing would change what happened. She knew both of them would be taken off the case. She just hoped who ever got the case would do a damn good job and land his ass behind bars. It didn't take long for Alex to fall asleep. Olivia laid there staring at the blonde headed woman as she peacefully slept. She knew there would be no sleeping for her that night though.

The next morning Alex woke up in bed alone. She felt as if she had been hit by an 18 wheeler. She got up and headed to the kitchen. She found Olivia sitting at her table staring into space, looking completely spent.

"Liv?" Alex said softly trying to bring Olivia out of the trance she was in. Olivia had jumped at the sound of her voice. "I didn't mean to scare you." Alex pulled the chair out to sit next to Olivia.

"It's fine. I was just thinking. Captain called earlier, he wanted us both at the precinct." Olivia sighed. She knew it wasn't going to be easy on Alex. She didn't even want her to have to relive it. Alex didn't even say a word but just nodded.

When both ladies were dressed and ready, Olivia drove them to the precinct.

**I was originally going to have this just be a one shot but then thought otherwise. Chapter two should be up soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Well, I wrote this chapter faster than I expected. This is what happens when I don't sleep at night! Enjoy!**

As the ladies left the precinct Alex was more shook up than she had been going in. If Olivia hadn't came in when she did the beating would have went even farther. She was grateful but couldn't stop the images from running constantly through her mind. Alex refused to leave Olivia's side. The only time she was away from her was the short time they both were giving their individual accounts of what had happened. Before leaving Captain Cragen pulled Olivia into his office.

"Olivia I think you should take some time off. We can handle the rest of this case and whatever else we get thrown at us. You have plenty of time built up." He sat down at his desk, preparing for Olivia to argue. But to his surprise the detective agreed.

"Thank you sir." Olivia looked at him. She was just drained. Emotionally and physically she had nothing left.

"Go, Liv. She's waiting on you. I see her shadow right outside the door." Olivia looked behind her and smiled to herself.

"Again, thank you captain." She turned back around.

"I mean it now go. Take care of yourselves and I'll see you when you're ready to come back." Cragen stood up and hugged Olivia.

Once back at Alex's apartment she completely broke down. She no longer felt in control anymore. Alex wasn't used to being the victim. He may have not gotten as far with her as he did the others, but she felt so violated. She no longer felt safe at all. All Olivia could do was just hold Alex in her arms. The blonde laid against Olivia's chest for a while after she had calmed down.

"Thank you." Alex whispered looking up at Olivia. She still had a few tears rolling down her cheeks.

Olivia softly wiped the last few tears and kissed her forehead. "You want to spend a few nights at my apartment? Just to get you out of here?"

"Are you sure about wanting me there? I'm a mess, you have more important things to worry about." Alex bit her lip hard.

"Stay with me, Alex? I'm not leaving you alone to deal with all of this." She gently wiped the last few tears from Alex's face. Her hand rested on her cheek, cupping it.

"Thank you Liv, for everything." Alex felt herself blushing at the touch of Olivia.

"I would do anything for you Alex." Olivia brushed her thumb across the blonde's cheek. In that moment something changed between them and they both felt it. She stared into Alex's blue eyes. Behind all the pain that the previous day brought, was the Alex she loved. She was determined to get her though all of this.

"Let's get your clothes packed for a few days." Olivia smiled at her. Alex wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tight. She couldn't believe it. Could Olivia really have feelings for her?

Less than twenty minutes later she had a bag packed and smiled at Olivia. "Let's go detective."

Olivia could tell that this was going to be an interesting time. She knew Alex would be the death of her. As they walked into Olivia's apartment Olivia sighed. It was still a mess. She hadn't even actually been in there for days.

"Sorry for the mess." She said quietly biting her bottom lip.

"Don't worry about it." She gave Olivia a small smile. She may be bruised but God, she was beautiful.

"Are you hungry? We can order some food and watch some movies." Olivia took Alex's bag and put it in her bedroom.

"A little, yes." Alex said quietly staring at Olivia.

"Order us what you'd like." Olivia smiled, feeling Alex's eyes on her. She started the blush. "I'll pick us out a movie."

The blonde ADA just smiled as Olivia bent down and looked through all of her movies. She finally settled on a romantic comedy. By the time she chose it, Alex was off the phone.

"I ordered Chinese food." She smiled at Olivia. Looking around the apartment you could tell it had always just been Olivia by herself.

Olivia sat down on the couch after putting the movie in. She waited until their food was there to play it. As the movie played and they finished eating both women were slowly moving towards each other not really paying much attention. Alex smiled to herself and closed off the distance leaning into Olivia. The detective instinctively put her arm around Alex. Both of them felt so content. Neither of them wanted to move even after the movie had ended. They say there enjoying the closeness. No words were even needed. Something was happening between then and neither one of them was forcing it. It just felt right. Olivia looked down at Alex and caught her eyes. The bright blue eyes of Alexandra Cabot were crystal blue once again.

"You're beautiful." Olivia whispered.

Alex just shook her head. "Nowhere near as gorgeous as you. I've got a busted face, if you think that's beautiful…" She trailed off looking down.

"Banged up or not you're still beautiful. All of you, inside and out." Olivia tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Alex blushed and hid her face in Olivia's chest.

"I've never seen you turn so many shades of red counselor." Olivia just smiled at her.

"Well, when you hear the things from the woman you've wanted to after so long, it's hard to believe it." Alex looked up, her cheeks still rosy.

"I never thought this would happen either Al. Never did I think that I would be able to hold the most amazing person in my arms. I had always thought I would have to love you from a distance forever." She pulled Alex closer to her and gently run her finger tips up and down her arm.

"How long have you felt like this?" Alex looked up at Olivia again, their eyes locking.

"Since I first saw you." Olivia replied barely above a whisper. "Ever since you were assigned as our ADA."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one to have shared the feelings for so long." Alex couldn't believe it. The moment she never thought would come, did. The blonde sat up a bit and cupped Olivia's cheek in hand. "You're beautiful Liv." She said softly.

"Not even close as beautiful as you." Neither women were speaking loudly. Both laying their hearts out on the table. It took her by surprise when she felt Alex's lips land on hers.

"Thank you, for everything. For protecting me. For loving me. For being you." Alex told her as they ended their kiss.

Both women sat there in a comfortable silence. The feelings that had been trapped for so long, finally out. Olivia interrupted the silence with a yawn. Alex smiled at her.

"Let's take a nap, Liv." She told her while yawning herself.

"If you want some alone time, you can go in the bedroom and I'll be fine out here." Olivia bit her lip. As much as she wanted to be near Alex, she was still reminded of the recent events.

"No." The blonde's response came quickly. "No, come in there with me. Stay with me." She said in a much softer tone this time.

It became clear that whatever Alex wanted, she would get. Olivia has a hard time telling her no anymore.

"After you babe." Olivia let go of the younger woman as they got up.

"Hold me?" Alex asked as they laid there. "I feel safe when I'm with you."

"You are safe. I won't allow anyone to hurt you if I can stop it Alex." Olivia pulled Alex close to her and wrapped her arms about the blonde's slender body.

"Sleep Liv. By the looks of it, you don't spend much time in here." Alex turned so that she was facing the dark headed woman.

"That could change. After all, I have you with me here." Olivia just smiled. "Let's get some sleep Alex."

Olivia laid awake listening to Alex as she slowly fell asleep. It wasn't until she heard her breaths regulate that she allowed herself to drift off. It was the most peaceful sleep she had.

**Author's note 2: Thank you all for reading and those that reviewed the first chapter I can't even put into words how much that meant to me. I am also looking for someone to read of the chapter before they are published. So If you are interested, shoot me a PM. Until then, have a nice day wherever you might be 3**


	3. Chapter 3

When Olivia woke up, Alex wasn't in the bed. The detective looked up at her alarm and sighed. Getting out of bed she found Alex sitting at her kitchen table. The blonde was lost in her own mind as she stared at a blank wall.

"Alex?" Olivia said quietly but she didn't even blink. Alex just sat there; tears were forming in her eyes. She could tell Alex was in the middle of a flash back. "Alex baby." Olivia tried again to pull Alex back. When the younger woman finally came to, she broke down.

"It felt like it was happening all over again. I was walking into the apartment. I had my hands full and went and put dinner and my bags down. When I made it back to the door he was standing there. He told me that everyone who helped put him behind bars would pay." Alex choked out a sob. Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex.

"We don't have to talk about this." She told her softly.

"Yes we do. We haven't spoken about it. I have to get it out before it drowns me." Alex was still crying. "His eyes were so dark, filled with rage and anger. Until I heard his name I didn't understand what I had to do with any of it. What we had to do with it. He was one of the first cases I had won when I started in SVU. Richard Parker was the main suspect in a string of sexual assaults. The two victims before me put him away for petty crimes years before. When he told you that you would be next my heart sank. All I could think about while he was beating me was that you were somewhere close and it would be over soon. But it felt like it lasted forever. He ripped my clothes off like it was nothing. As he went to pull his pants down there you were. Coming to save me as you always had." Alex laid her head against the standing woman's torso and stared back at the wall.

"I should have been there sooner. This is twice I let someone hurt you." Olivia still blamed herself for when Alex was in Witsec after being shot.

"You couldn't have stopped the first attack Olivia, but you did save me from this one being worse. He was staking out my place. I always came home alone. He didn't know you would be coming behind me. If it didn't happen then, it would have happened another time. That time you wouldn't have been there." Alex looked up at her with pain in her eyes.

"He shouldn't have been able to even do all of this to you." Olivia touched Alex's cheek. The bruises were bad and she had a small cut above her eye.

"This will all heal. With time we'll get past this." Alex smiled at the older woman.

Olivia smiled to herself as Alex referred to them as we. "Yes, we will."

"You're an amazing woman Olivia. An amazing, beautiful woman." Alex stood up so that they were eye level. Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck. Olivia's hands rested on the blonde's hips. Neither of them wanted to move. "I want to be with you." Alex's words came out just above a whisper. "I've always wanted to be with you."

"Alexandra Cabot, are you asking me to be your girlfriend before I have had the chance to take you out on a proper date?" The dark headed woman smirked.

"Why put off the inevitable? It was going to happen, regardless if we have had a date or not." Alex was playing with the back of Olivia's hair. "So, what is your answer detective?"

Olivia wordlessly leaned in to kiss Alex, feeling her lips on hers again. She pulled the blonde closer and smiled into the kiss. "Does that answer your question?" All Alex could do was nod. She was at a loss for words. "I never thought anyone could render the Ice Princess speechless."

Alex gave Olivia a playful glare and pushed her a little. "I'm never getting rid of that name, am I?" She shook her head.

"Never." Olivia just smiled at her.

"Okay badass." Alex kissed her softly again. "Your girlfriend is hungry again." It was crazy in such a short time being with Olivia could change her mood so rapidly.

"You're always hungry." Olivia had a smile plastered on her face.

"Ah, learning early I see?" Alex giggled. "I want Italian but no one decent around here delivers."

"Then let me take you to dinner. We can go outside of the city. Hell, we could go get it then go somewhere else and eat it." Olivia couldn't stop staring at Alex.

"Fresh air would be nice. You're driving, so whatever we do you decide." Alex walked away from Olivia to go get dressed. Olivia didn't take her eyes off of her and Alex knew it judging by the way she walked.

"Thank you Liv." Alex smiled as they say on a park bench. After dinner the couple decided to take a walk. Their evening was cut short when Olivia's phone started to ring.

"Benson." Olivia picked up her phone and sighed. "Yes Casey. Okay. Okay, I'll see you then." Olivia shook her head. "Casey wants to see us tomorrow."

"Did she say why?" Alex bit her lip.

"Something about the case but she wouldn't go into detail." In the back of Olivia's mind she knew this case was going to be messy.

"I just wish the trial could be over with and it hasn't even begun." Alex put her hands in her pocket and looked down.

"You'll come out on top Al." Olivia put her arm around Alex. "Let's go home babe."

"Home?" Alex raised her eyebrow.

"Yes, home. A place where we are together." Olivia smiled at her.

Alex scrunched her nose. "You're so sappy detective."

"But you love me." Olivia kissed her nose.

"That's what you think." Alex flashed her a shit eating grin. "Let's go home."

Olivia just smiled as she took Alex's hand. No one even knew of their relationship but part of her liked that. She had Alex to herself and no one invading their private lives. Even though it took them years to admit their feelings, everyone else in the precinct knew it was bound to happen.

The next morning Olivia woke up and smiled looking at the blonde sleeping next to her in bed. She didn't know how she got so lucky at all. The brunette slowly slipped out of bed trying not to wake up her girlfriend. Casey would be there in a little over an hour. Olivia went and got into the shower, letting Alex sleep some more. The last couple of nights had been the most sleep she had had in what seemed like forever. After she was out, she leaned down and kissed Alex's lips softly. She saw Alex's eyes flutter and smiled before kissing her again.

"Good morning to you too detective." Alex said huskily. Olivia couldn't get over the sound of her voice.

"I have your coffee waiting for you in the kitchen." Olivia smiled, knowing that the mention of coffee would have the younger woman out of bed. "Coffee, then shower. Casey will be here soon."

"How about I lay here and let you kiss me instead." Alex smiled trying to get out of having to face the issue quite yet.

"We do what we need to, and then I promise at some point I'll have you back in here." Olivia smirked at Alex. "Come on babe."

Alex bit her lip and got out of bed. Morning hair and all, Olivia still thought she looked beautiful.

"What are you staring at?" Alex cocked her head to the side as she sat her coffee cup down on the table.

"You." Olivia couldn't hold back the smile. She turned into a soft person around Alex. She wasn't the same bad ass detective she is with everyone else.

"Since when did you turn into mush?" Alex mused.

"Since I finally got you." Olivia said softly. Alex stood up and went and sat on Olivia's lap kissing her. "I swear I don't know what I did to deserve you." The older woman pressed her forehead against Alex's.

"I don't know what I did either but I'm glad I have you." Alex kissed her softly again before getting up. "I'm gonna finally go shower. I look a mess."

Olivia just shook her head. "No you don't."

"If you say so detective, but I'm pretty sure you are pretty biased." With that Alex turned on her heel and went to shower.

Olivia was pulled out of her thoughts about ten minutes later when there was a knock on the door. Looking through the peep hole she saw it was Casey.

"You're early councilor." Olivia opened the door.

"Good morning to you too detective." Casey walked in with a smiled. "Alex not here yet?"

Just as she ended her sentence she heard a voice from the bedroom. "Babe! What did you do with my bag?" Alex appeared in the doorway standing in a towel. "And you're here early." Alex jumped back inside the room.

"I'll be right back." Olivia excused herself.

"She came early, I'm sorry." Olivia closed the bedroom door and walked to the closet.

"I see that now, and she saw a lot of me." Alex bit her lip slightly embarrassed.

"I should have came in a told you when she got there, but then again she had just walked in." Olivia pulled out Alex an outfit then went to the dresser pulling out the rest of what Alex needed.

"You put my things up?" Alex just smiled at her.

"Yeah, they were going to get wrinkled. You were sleeping and I woke up and decided to do it." Olivia kissed her softly. "Get dressed baby. We will be in the kitchen."

"Sorry about that." Olivia made her way back into the kitchen where Casey was sitting completely in shock.

"Earth to Casey." Olivia looked at the red head.

"You and Cabot?" Casey looked up at the detective.

"Yes, just don't tell anyone. We don't want it out just yet." Olivia sat down across from Casey.

"I won't." The way Casey said it; it came out as if it were pure jealously. She couldn't believe it. Someone finally had the detective.

Olivia picked up on it right away. She knew that Casey had tried flirting with her in the past, but just as she did with everyone else she turned her down. "If this is going to be a problem, we can get someone else to try this case." Olivia shot her a look that meant she was serious.

"No need detective. There isn't an issue. I wish you both the best." Casey sighed.

Olivia perked up as she saw Alex walk out of the bedroom. She sat next to her girlfriend and smiled.

"We've got enough evidence to put him away. Trial begins in three weeks. We have until then to get everyone ready." Casey started, going ahead and telling them why she was there. "Alex, they may have you on the stand first."

Alex's face went white. She knew it would happen she just didn't want to bring it up. Bringing it up meant it was really real. She just wanted it all over with.

The rest of the lady's meeting was spent talking about the trial. Alex barely said much.

"Remember what I told you. You'll come out on top. He has already lost Alex." Olivia pulled her into her arms. Alex just silently buried her head into Olivia.

**A/N: At this point, chapter four may be up in the next couple of days. Once again, thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed so far. If you have any ideas or if you want to see something happen in the story line, review and let me know! Until next time my loves!**


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia sighed as she glanced at the clock. Alex had went to lay down about two hours ago. There was only less than a week until the trial. Olivia was constantly looking over case files, even though she wasn't supposed to be working during her time off. Alex spent her time sleeping. It felt as if that was the only way she could stop it from replaying in her mind. Nothing seemed to help. She wouldn't even leave without Olivia right by her side.

Olivia closed the last file and put them away. She only looked at them when Alex was asleep and was dreading the following week. Olivia straightened out a bit before deciding to wake up Alex. The independent detective had become attached to Alex. She was only asleep for a couple hours and Olivia already missed her voice. She knew it would be hell when Alex finally went back home.

"Alex. Wake up baby." Olivia sat next to the sleeping blonde.

"But I don't want to wake up." Alex whined rolling over. That caused Olivia to smirk and start tickling her. "Okay! Okay, I'm up!" She was thrashing under Olivia trying to get her to stop. She got herself turned over and managed to get on top Olivia.

"Oh, shit." Olivia was caught off guard. Alex pinned Olivia's hands up and smiled at the detective.

"Damn Olivia, lost your fight?"Alex joked as she flipped her hair back out of her face. Olivia couldn't help but just stare at the blonde who was straddling her.

"I let you get the upper hand councilor." Olivia laid there.

"Prove it." Alex's eyes were glazed over. Before she knew it, she was the one pinned to the bed.

"Told you." Olivia whispered and kissed Alex softly. When the two women pulled back, Alex's lips crashed back into Olivia's passionately.

"Liv." Alex looked up at the brunette woman, her eyes burning with desire. "Please."

Olivia bit her lip. Alex was still banged up pretty bad. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt her.

"I'll be okay Olivia. Make love to me?" Alex practically moaned out her words.

Without a word, Olivia kissed Alex again. This time, with so much need. She left a trail of kisses down the blonde's jaw line to her neck. Finding her pulse point she lightly scraped her teeth over it, biting down gently. Alex moaned, running her fingernails down Olivia's back.

"You're so beautiful." Olivia sat up, looking down at Alex. She leaned down and kissed Alex's lips once more. Her hands slipped under Alex's shirt. Alex felt as if her skin was on fire with Olivia's touch. Olivia took the hem of Alex's shirt, slowly raising it. Alex lifted enough so Olivia could fully remove it. The brunette took in a sharp breath running her hands up Alex's ribs, stopping right under her breasts. Olivia's head snapped up when she heard her phone ringing. She shook her head and turned her attention back to Alex. She cupped Alex's breasts through her bra, feeling her nipples harden. Reaching under the blonde, she unclasped the garment and slipped it off of her. It landed on the floor with her shirt. Hearing her phone again, Olivia once again didn't pay it any attention. Her lips met Alex's, her hands cupped her breasts once again. Kissing her way down, her thumb swiped over Alex's nipple. She felt Alex push up into her touch. Her mouth had made it to her breasts when there was pounding on the door. Olivia groaned and sat up. She wanted to ignore that too. She heard her captain's voice and took a deep breath.

"Liv, go get the door. It's the only way we will be able to finish it." Alex sighed and sat up. "Go." She kissed her girlfriend's lips and fell back onto the bed.

"Olivia." Cragen made his way into her apartment. She knew something had to be wrong.

"What can I do for you?" Olivia tried her best not to seem annoyed at the unwanted visit.

"Liv, he excaped. Some time within the last hour he got out some how." Cragen didn't waste much time and got right to the point.

"What do you mean he got out!?" Olivia was enraged. How could they let this man escape.

"It's not safe for you two to be here Olivia. He knows where you live." Cragen looked at Olivia. "I tried calling you, trying to get you to come to the precint. I'm sorry."

Alex came out of the bedroom when Cragen said it wasn't safe. She was trying not to break. "Not again. Please, not again." Alex said under her breath, talking to herself. Olivia heard her and pulled Alex to her. "I can't do this all over again Olivia. I can't."

Cragen looked at the two and couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"They're gonna find him baby." Olivia whispered, holding her close. Alex just nodded. No matter what she has done to get her life back on track, something happens. Over and over again, it never failed.

"Ladies, I suggest you two stay somewhere else, at least just for the night." Cragen interrupted them.

"Thanks for the heads up captain." Olivia sighed and kissed Alex's forehead.

"It's up north, but we can go the cabin." Alex said softly biting her lip.

"You sure Al?" Olivia took Alex's hand.

"Ladies, I'm sorry for interrupting your evening." Cragen nodded at the couple. The two hadn't even realized their actions in the presence of the older man.

"It's regarding her safety, so thank you." Olivia looked at the captain, pleading with her eyes not to say anything.

"And another thing, finally. As long as you two can keep it professional at work that is." He raised an eyebrow at the two of them.

"Thank you." Both women responded in unison.

"Get your bags ready. You'll be escorted by me." Cragen looked at the ladies knowing that he interrupted something.

Alex followed Olivia into the bedroom and sighed. "Why does this always happen." She leaned against the wall staring.

"I wish I had an answer for you." Olivia kissed Alex softly before getting their clothes out of the closet.

"I've not been up to the cabin in years Olivia." Alex looked at the floor. She hadn't been up there since before she went into witness protection.

"I know baby." Olivia picked up their bags and went to stand in front of Alex. "Remember, you'll come out on top."

Alex just nodded and kissed Olivia softly.

"Are we ready ladies?" Cragen stood up as the two entered the room. Alex's face was pale. She wasn't ready to deal with this all over again. As the three left Olivia felt sick to her stomach. She wished the sick son of a bitch was dead at this point. As they made their way into Cragen's car, it was completely silent. Only the noise of the city filled the vehicle. Neither of them knowing what would happen next.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay guys, here is the chapter than you've been waiting for months for. I'm sorry it has taken me so long. I've been going through a lot here lately. I'm still here guys and I plan on finishing this story. It has so many more chapters to come. I just need life to calm down and allow me to write! Merry Christmas (Or Happy Holidays to those who do not celebrate it!) guys!**

"Ladies, be careful up here. It's secluded and I highly doubt anyone will be able to follow you, but for your own safety don't use your cell phones or anything that can be traced up here. I have groceries and necessities in the trunk." Captain Cragen sighed as the trio entered the cabin.

"Thank you Captain, I promise to keep her safe." Olivia ran her hand through her hair as she watched Alex curl up on the couch. She could tell by the expression on her face, Alex was there but mentally she was someone completely different.

"I know you will Liv. Enjoy your time with each other without the commotion of the city." Captain Cragen half smiled at his detective. "This could be a blessing in disguise, she needs you more than anyone right now anyways."

Olivia nodded at the older man and sighed. It was rough on her but not nearly as much as it was for Alex.

"I'm going to grab your things and get back down to the city. The team has leads but so far nothing." Cragen sighed and without saying anything else, he walked back outside.

Olivia went over to Alex and pulled her into her arms. The blonde finally broke and sobbed into her chest. Olivia knew there were so many emotions running through her mind. Nothing she said at this point would change anything, she just held her in her arms. Cragen was walking in and out silently. You could see the pain in his eyes though; his own team was being targeted.

"Liv." Cragen walked in front of the couch and looked at the ladies. "I have a prepaid phone that I'll call and give you updates. No one else other than us three know where you are. Just take care up here. We'll get his ass. He can't run for too long." Cragen turned to leave silently.

"Cap!" Olivia called out, stopping him. "Thank you." She said softly as he turned back around. With a simple nod he walked out of the door.

Looking around the cabin Olivia knew someone had to come and clean periodically, it was spotless. She looked down at Alex and kissed her head softly, letting her lips linger.

"It's been so long." Alex said barely above a whisper. "I've not seen the inside of this place since before… everything." She tried not to cry as she stared at the picture of her and her mother that was still on the mantel above the fire place. Nothing had even been touched.

"I know it's hard being here." Olivia held the younger woman close to her.

The two women sat there in a comfortable silence. It was only broke when Alex got up and picked up the picture she hadn't stopped staring at. "We were so happy. This was taken the last weekend we spent up here before the shooting." She said softly smiling as she looked at her mother's face. The sadness she was feeling was slowly going away as she walked around the cabin looking at everything. Standing at the staircase she looked over at Olivia and motioned for her to follow her. She led Olivia up the stairs, taking her hand. Opening the door at the end of the hall and contently sighed before pushing it all the way open. Alex's eyes lit up like a child's on Christmas.

"So many nights I spent in this room growing up." She smiled as she went to sit on the bed.

Olivia was just relieved to see the color return to Alex's bright eyes. "This place is beautiful." She stood in front of Alex and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

Alex wordlessly stood up and wrapped her arms tightly around the detective. "Olivia I love you." She looked up and stared into Olivia's eyes.

Olivia couldn't help but replay the words Alex said over and over again in her mind. "I love you too." She finally got the words to come out.

Alex just smiled and kissed her. "You're perfect."

Olivia just blushed and looked at the blonde. Despite the situation, there was something between the two of them that made things okay, even if it was just for the moment.

It was getting late and neither woman had realized it. Alex and Olivia were snuggled up on the couch downstairs. Olivia had lit the fire when they had come down. Olivia had Alex wrapped in her arms lying there peacefully. Things were crazy but they were coming together in their own strange way.

"Eventually I'll take you out on the trails. You know, when we're not both wanted dead." Alex sighed looking up at the brunette.

"We'll be able to walk them freely soon beautiful." Olivia kissed her softly and smiled. "You ready for bed baby?" She yawned and looked down at her.

Alex smiled and stood up, taking Olivia's hand. Things were changing so fast but this time, she didn't really mind. As the two made their way up the stairs Olivia squeezed Alex's hand lightly. It caused her to look behind her and give Olivia the biggest smile. Neither of them knew why it took them this long to get together.

As the couple entered the bedroom Alex pulled Olivia to her and kissed her hard. As she pulled back she wrapped her arms around her and just stared into her brown eyes. This still felt surreal at times.

"I love you, Alex." Olivia whispered getting lost in Alex's eyes.

"I love you too."Alex barely got the words out before pressing her lips back against Olivia's. As they lay back on the bed, naturally Alex curled up in Olivia's arms. The same way they had been falling asleep. Nothing came close to the feeling they both had when they were together.

"What's going to happen when we get back to the city and we don't actually have to do this?" Olivia was lightly running her fingertips over Alex's arm.

"As in what's going to happen to us?" Alex lifted up a bit to look at Olivia.

"Yeah, when we don't have to spend our days together and we're forced to have to go back to work." Olivia looked down and sighed.

"We'll see each other after work, occasionally during. Only difference is when you've had enough of me you can tell me to take my ass home or vice versa. Nothing has to change drastically." Alex smiled up at her.

"Okay. I just finally have you. I don't want to lose you." Olivia sighed. She knew how demanding her job was and the problems it could cause.

"I promise things will work out." Alex kissed her softly and laid her head back down. "We can take it day by day."

"Good because I don't think I could go back to hiding how I feel about you." Olivia stifled a yawn and wrapped her arms protectively around Alex. "Let's go to sleep beautiful."

Alex nuzzled her face into Olivia's chest and smiled. Olivia laid there running her fingers over Alex's back as she heard her breathing even out. Slowly Olivia drifted off not too far behind the blonde. Things were working out even if the circumstances were pretty shitty.

Alex was the first to wake up the next morning. Slowly she untangled herself from Olivia's arms and made her way downstairs. Starting a pot of coffee she looked up outside the window and just smiled. She felt at home. For the first time in so long she felt at peace. Maybe the reason she had to come to the cabin was a terrifying experience but above anything it is giving her closure.

"Good morning beautiful." Alex jumped at the sound of Olivia's voice. She didn't realize how long she had been staring out. The coffee was done and the aroma filled the cabin. She turned around and wrapped her arms around the dark headed woman.

"I didn't mean to scare you." Olivia pulled Alex closer and smiled. "I woke up to a cold and empty bed."

"It was one of the few times where I knew you were in a deep sleep. I wasn't waking you up for anything." Alex kissed Olivia's head and pulled back.

"Well in that case, thank you." Olivia smiled sweetly up at the taller woman.

"You don't have to thank me. I mean I am the cause of you being unable to sleep here lately." Alex looked down.

"Sacrificing my sleep for your safety is nothing. I would do it every single night if I needed to." Olivia cupped Alex's cheek softly and ran her thumb lightly over it.

"I can never repay you for everything you've done for me lately." Alex said quietly looking into Olivia's eyes.

"And I will never expect you to. I love you Alex." Olivia softly kissed Alex and smiled against her lips.

"I love you too." Alex breathed out, barely above a whisper.

"Who knew I alone could melt the ice princess." Olivia smirked as she pulled back looking at the blonde. If looks could kill, she would be dead. Alex shot her a glare that sent chills up her body.

"Yeah? Well who knew I could turn one of the NYPD's most bad ass detectives into a giant puddle of mush." Alex smirked and leaned back against the counter.

"Touché." Olivia brought her lips to Alex's once again, kissing her hard.

Wordlessly, Alex kissed Olivia back. She put her hands on Olivia's hips and pulled her closer. Slipping her hands right under the hem of Olivia's shirt she felt the detectives skin, running her hands softly over it. Olivia kissed Alex with desire, trailing her tongue across the blonde's bottom lip wanting to enter. Opening her mouth slightly, Alex allowed Olivia's tongue to slip in. Olivia slipped her hands under Alex's shirt running her hands from her hips to right under her breasts. She felt Alex's breaths quicken and smiled to herself. Breaking the kiss momentarily both women removed their shirts. Quickly Alex found herself being lifted onto the counter. Olivia stood between her legs, kissing down Alex's neck. Her left hand cupped Alex's breast, brushing her thumb against her nipple. Alex let out a moan as her hand found it's way into Olivia's hair. Continuing to kiss down Alex's body, she stopped and took the blonde's nipple into her mouth. Softly she sucked and ran her tongue over it, feeling it harden at every stroke. She soon switched breasts and continued the assault on the other with her finger, tugging at the nipple gently. Alex was biting down on her bottom lip with her head thrown back. Olivia's hand snaked between their bodies, running her hand up Alex's inner thigh.

"Liv, please." Alex moaned out. It was all the encouragement Olivia needed. She picked Alex up from the counter and carried her into the living room and placed her on the couch. Her hands found their way to Alex's shorts and slowly slid them off as Alex lifted her hips. Olivia couldn't help but stare at the beautiful woman in front of her. "Please." Alex once again moaned out, begging Olivia to touch her. Silently Olivia kissed Alex's lips before placing kisses down the blonde's body once again. She reached Alex's belly button and trailed the kisses back up, teasing the younger woman. Alex let out what almost sounded like a whimper. Smiling against the pale skin Olivia continued down her partner's body. Once again though, she stopped right above where Alex wanted her the most. She let a kiss linger right above Alex's center and watched as she lifted her lips. Olivia slowly ran her tongue through Alex's folds enjoying the moan that escaped Alex's lips. Glancing up she saw the blonde's blue eyes filled with so much desire. She ran her tongue up to Alex's clit and wrapped her mouth around it, running her tongue over it as she slipped a finger into her. Alex's hand once again was wrapped in Olivia's hair. Both women were in complete ecstasy. Olivia sucked on Alex's clit and slipped another finger in and curled them up. She knew Alex wouldn't last much longer. Alex was moaning and gasping as she tugged lightly on Olivia's hair. She could barely make words come out. She attempted to let Olivia know she was cumming but it came out as unrecognizable moans. Olivia quickened her pace and felt Alex tighten around her fingers and ran her tongue over her clit once more. Alex screamed and shook as she came. Slowly Olivia removed her fingers from Alex's body. She cleaned them off with her mouth before kissing Alex softly. Alex looked completely spent and Olivia smiled and pulled her into her arms. Grabbing the blanket off the couch she covered them both up. They laid there in each other's arms content for the time being.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: I promised y'all that I wouldn't take forever to update this time around!**

Olivia sat there and watched Alex sleep. She looked so peaceful and all of her bruises were almost faded. Alex would be back to normal soon, physically at least. Mentally that could take a while. Especially after the prick that attacked her keeps escaping. Alex stirred and Olivia looked back down at the blonde and smiled as her blue eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning again beautiful." Olivia kissed Alex's forehead.

"I blame you." Alex smiled and crawled up closer to Olivia. "I love you." She smiled as she pulled the covers back up around them.

"I love you too, but I also think that you should actually be thanking me." Olivia laughed and wrapped her arms around the younger woman.

Their comfortable silence broke when Olivia heard the faint sound of the cell phone ringing from the kitchen. She saw Alex take a breath and hold it in. Olivia untangled herself from Alex and grabbed the phone.

"Benson." Olivia held on to the cabinet so tight that her knuckles were white. She was so scared of the information that would be shared.

"Liv, I think we need to move you guys. Completely out of the state this time. He's made it known he isn't going to stop. Every lead we get, he always seems to be one step ahead. I'll be headed up there soon. Try and break it to Alex and I'll get another location established. I'll see you in a bit, Liv." Cragen hung up without allowing Olivia to reply. It would be easier in person to explain everything else.

Olivia sat the phone down and stared at it. She just wanted the nightmare to end. Walking back into the living room, Alex wasn't anywhere to be found.

"Alex!?" Olivia called out as she reached the stair case.

"Bedroom!" Olivia heard Alex call back.

With one look at Olivia's face she could tell something was wrong. Alex was standing in the closet grabbing some sweats.

"What's wrong Olivia?" Alex barely got her words out. Olivia wordlessly took her hand and sat down on the bed, pulling her onto her lap.

"We've got to leave here." Olivia practically whispered. "I'm sorry. I sorry we have to keep running. I'm sorry that once again you're being bounced around. What I'm not sorry for is doing this and standing by your side to make sure no one can hurt you again."

Alex didn't have anything to say. She buried her face into Olivia and just cried. She couldn't understand why it kept happening. No matter what, things couldn't stop happening to her. Olivia wrapped her arms around her tighter and held her close.

"I don't want to run away anymore. I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of being constantly afraid." Alex finally spoke as she dried her tears. "I want him captured. I want the trial over with. I want to be able to walk out freely without being scared I won't be walking back in."

"If I could make that happen, I would. But right now we have to do what is best for your safety. Unfortunately that right now includes us going somewhere else and the fucker than did this shit to you is caught. I understand that all this is hard on you." Olivia lightly ran her hand up and down Alex's back.

"Do you get it Olivia? Do you really get it? That I feel like I'm right back where I was when I was in witness protection? That I no longer have a say in my life yet again! I will never be able to just be me. Alexandra Cabot can't exist and do what she loves to do without someone trying to fuck her life completely up!" Alex got off of Olivia and went to the bathroom slamming the door behind her.

Sliding down the wall, Alex let her tears fall. Once again she was losing control. No matter what she did to try and prevent it, something happens. It wasn't right that some things in her life were coming together while every other aspect in her life was falling to pieces. Finally standing, she ran herself water for a shower. A few tears fell down her face as she got in.

In the bedroom Olivia tried to hold it together. She knew why Alex was upset. It was tearing her apart inside. She knew to give Alex her space and sighed. Getting up, she made her way to the kitchen and grabbed her phone.

"We're not leaving here. I don't care what you need to do to ensure Alex's safety, but we are not leaving. I'm not making her go through this again." Olivia looked out the window when she heard the man answer on the other end.

"Olivia, it's for your own safety that you guys not stay there. I don't want anything to happen to you. Parker keeps slipping under the radar."

Olivia cut him off. "Do what you need to do but I'm not having her leave here. Last night was the first night that she fell asleep without shaking. Internally scared that she was going to fall asleep and wake up and Parker would be there. We're in the middle of nowhere. Unless he has tapped your phone there is no way he would know we are here. Just bring back up when you come up later. Captain, please. I can't do this to her again." Olivia was pleading with her superior.

"We'll talk about it when I get there Olivia. It makes me uncomfortable. But I'll see you in a few hours." Olivia heard the older man sigh on the other end of the phone.

"Thank you." With that Olivia hung up the phone and continued to stare out the window. She was scared but at the same time she wasn't going to let a scum bag run her girlfriend's life anymore. That is if she has any say in it.

Olivia had obviously spaced out. She didn't even hear Alex come down the stairs. When Alex finally spoke, it caused her to jump. "Liv."

"Hey, Al." Olivia slowly turned to face the blonde and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for you yelling at you. You've done nothing, but be there for me through all of this and I lashed out at you. Which was uncalled for." Alex looked down at the floor.

"It's okay. You were upset and have every single right to be. But if I have my way, we won't be leaving here. It isn't fair to you. They are going to do everything in their power to keep us safe." Olivia walked to Alex and put her arms around her.

"I'll never quite understand why you care about me so much, but I'm thankful. I know I'm hard to handle and stubborn but you deal with it. You put up with me even at my worse. No matter the amount of times we have fought and argued, here you are in front of me. You have been there to protect me since day one. You have put me first no matter what. I can never tell you just how grateful I am to have you in my life, Liv." Alex's blue eyes were so bright, filled with pure love. "No matter how many times I've had flashbacks. Or times where those two nights control my mind. You have been there."

"And I will continue to be Alex. I love you. I will always put you before me. No matter the circumstances. Your well being is the most important thing. While you were in the shower, I made a phone call to Don. I told him we weren't leaving here. We have already been uprooted from New York. We weren't leaving here too. We will do what we need to in order to make sure Parker can't get to us if he does somehow find us." Olivia pressed her lips to Alex's forehead softly.

"It shouldn't be just to keep me safe. We both have prices on our heads. I need you safe too Olivia." Alex took Olivia's hand and gave it a small squeeze.

"We will both be okay. But it's my job to protect you." Olivia smiled at the younger woman,

"I can get used to this sensitive side of you Detective." Alex smirked.

"I won't tell about your soft side if you don't say a word about mine, Ice Princess." Olivia was fully prepared the glare she was going to receive after her last remark.

Alex huffed and glared at her. "I'm never going to get rid of that."

"Never." Olivia smiled and kissed Alex's lips.

"Be lucky I like you." Alex shook her head and laughed.

"Trust me, I am." Olivia took Alex's hand and led them into the living room. "Pick a movie?"

Alex smiled as she went to the shelf where they kept DVD's. She pulled out an action movie that she knew Olivia wouldn't get completely bored with. As the two settled in, Alex wrapped the blanket on the couch around them. She was snuggled up into Olivia's side.

The two had just put in a new movie when their peaceful afternoon was interrupted by a crash heard from somewhere on the property. Alex's stomach dropped. "Get upstairs and lock yourself in the bedroom." Olivia grabbed Alex's hand and ran up the stairs. In all over her things, she found her lock box. Taking out her gun, she leaned over and kissed Alex. "Text Cragen. Tell him what's going on. Stay still and don't make any noise."

Olivia's heart pounded as she made her way down the stairs. Not knowing where the commotion came from put her on edge. She knew it wasn't in the house but it was definitely close. Glancing out the window she saw Cragen coming up the long driveway. But at the same time she heard the back door slam shut. The sound of footsteps echoed. They were heavy and sounded like boots on the hardwood floor. Olivia had her gun drawn and stared intently where she knew where whoever was in the cabin would come out.

"Well isn't it Detective Benson." Richard Parker came through the door with a weapon of his own.

"NYPD put the gun down!" Liv called out. "I said put it down!" She watched as he cocked the gun and pointed at her.

"I would have done this when I got your blonde friend if I could have. I'm not going back this time. Looks like you won't be either." Parker put his finger on the trigger and smirked. "You stand no chance. You're by yourself and all you have is you glock. I could shoot a round in you before you had the chance to pull your trigger."

"Don't do this. You've done enough! This place is going to be crawling with cops in the next minute."Olivia prayed Cragen got the message when she hadn't heard the cars anymore.

"There isn't anyone here but you, I and that bitch somewhere in this house. You're both gone." Parker glared at her filled with rage.

"You're wrong about that. We aren't the ones that will be gone." Olivia shot back, her hand resting on her trigger. Parker stepped forward and Olivia's eyes narrowed.

"Going to shoot me detective?" Parker took another step forward. He raised his gun and aimed at Olivia's head.

Without a word Olivia fired her weapon. Hitting Parker in the shoulder, it made him angry. Briefly his arms fell causing him to lose his aim.

"Drop your weapon Richard!" Olivia once again ordered. Just as her words left her mouth, she felt excruciating pain shoot through her chest. Glancing down she saw blood seep through her shirt. Olivia heard another gunshot being fired immediately after the one that hit her. She had no idea where it came from. Out of nowhere Cragen and other officers made their way into the room. That shot was just a warning shot, trying to get his attention off of Olivia. Richard Parker came face to face with more members on law enforcement.

"Drop the weapon!" Cragen yelled at the man. When Parker raised his gun he was shot again by one of the uniformed cops. This time in his leg. He fell to the ground dropping the gun. The two uniformed cops got the gun away from Parker and put cuffs on him. Cragen focused his attention on Olivia. By this time she was covered in blood.

"Alex, get Alex."Olivia told Don as she was starting to go in and out. But Alex was already running down the stairs. She heard Don's voice and came out of the room. Tears were already filling her eyes.

"We have to get her to the hospital." Alex was shaking. Running to the kitchen she grabbed a clean towel and pressed it against Olivia's wound. "The nearest one is 20 minutes from here on the main road, but he roads are bad the farther north you go."

"We'll get her there. They're taking Parker but down to the city. Call the hospital and they them know we're on our way." Cragen had Olivia in his arms and ran out to his car. Alex slipped in the back with Olivia, still pressing on her wound. She tried to compose herself while talking to the trauma unit of the hospital. Her voice betrayed her and cracked before she hung up.

"Come on Liv, stay with me." Alex pleaded as she was Olivia's face become pale. She was losing so much blood. "I need you Olivia. Don't you dare die on me." Alex had tears flowing down her face. Internally she was praying.

The entire trip to the hospital felt like an eternity. Olivia was immediately taken back. Alex and Don sat in the waiting room. They went from staring at the walls to each other. Neither one of them speaking.

Hours had passed and still no one came out. Eventually Alex grew impatient. Walking up to the desk she asked the nurse for information. All she got in reply was that the doctor would be out soon.

Another half hour passed before the doors opened. Judging by the looks on the doctor's face, things weren't good.

**Author's note: I hope you guys don't hate me too much for the cliff hanger. I would also like to thank everyone who has reviewed thus far. Keep them coming, please!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Hey guys! I would just like to say thank you for the reviews. They mean a lot! If you have any ideas or anything you want slipped into the story, let me know and I'm sure I can work something out. **

"Are you here for Olivia Benson?" Alex watched in horror as the doctor made his way through the doors.

Jumping up she met the doctor halfway into the room with Cragen not too far behind.

"Hello, I am Doctor Michael Johnson. I have treated Ms. Benson since her arrival." Doctor Johnson shook each other their hands.

"Hello, I'm Donald Cragen. This is Alexandra Cabot." Cragen spoke, knowing Alex wouldn't even begin to get any kind of words out at this point.

If you would, please follow me. I would like to discuss this in a private room." Doctor Johnson led them into a small room with a table.

Sitting across the table from Alex and Cragen Doctor Johnson pulled out Olivia's file.

"Ms. Benson is currently in critical condition. At this point myself and our medical staff have done what we could. I would suggest having her air lifted to Mt. Sinai in New York. We have her stable but they are far more equipped to deal with the care she needs. She's in a very bad place right now." The doctor looks up at the two across the table.

"What are her chances of making it through?" Alex barely spoke above a whisper.

"At this point, we are unsure. For the next 48 hours I only give her roughly a 30 percent chance. After that her chances of survival go up depending on her condition. I stand by what I said about going to a larger hospital." Looking through the file the doctor pulled out a few pages. "These are the releases and more medical information. Mr. Cragen you are listed as her power of attorney."

Cragen nodded and read over the papers. "How risky is it to transfer Olivia?" He looked up at the doctor.

"As long as everyone follows proper procedures nothing should cause her condition to decline." Doctor Johnson closed the file back up.

Alex sat there trying to get her thoughts processed. She couldn't lose Olivia. She just got her. There is no way she would live through losing her. She may not have been the one that pulled the trigger but she felt responsible for Olivia laying there fighting for her life.

"Can I see her?" Alex spoke up again and took a deep breath.

"You may but only for a short period of time. We need to get her ready to be transferred. I am going to warn you now, there are multiple tubes and wires right now. It's not pretty. We have sedated her currently and she is in a coma." The doctor stood up. "I can take you back there, one at a time. You must scrub in and I'm giving you each ten minutes."

"Thank you." Alex didn't have much to say. Her mind was going in a million directions.

The trio walked through double doors where they both were given a gown to change into. As Cragen went in, Alex sat on the bench and cried. She begged and pleaded for God not to talk Olivia. Alex's head snapped up when she heard the door open. She went and scrubbed in before walking into Olivia's room. Her heart shattered when she looked at Olivia's body laying in the bed, hooked up to so many machines. She went to Olivia and took her hand in hers. A few tears slipped down her face.

"Olivia, I need you to fight. I need you to prove to everyone you're as strong as I know you are. I need you." Alex gently squeezed Olivia's hand and leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Stay with me, Liv." Alex whispered into Olivia's ear. She pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and sat there. She didn't have long but she wasn't leaving until they made her. Sitting there, she held Olivia's hand and watched her. The only sounds in the room came from the machines. The door opening caused Alex to jump and look back. The nurse was letting her know she needed to go.

"I love you, Liv. I'll see you when we're back home. I promise not to leave your side." Alex kissed her head and headed for the door. She was trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall once again.

After getting out of the gown, Cragen was sitting in the waiting room. She crumbled into his arms when she got to him.

"Let's get your things, and get you back to the city. Olivia should be settled in at the hospital by the time we get there." Cragen pulled away as Alex dried her tears. Only response she gave was a small nod.

The whole way back to the cabin and down to the city Alex was completely quiet. Staring out the window all of the time herself and Olivia spent together. She knew in her heart that Olivia would fight. It's what's in her. She is too stubborn to give up.

As the two neared the city, Alex was once again trying to maintain her composure. She kept thinking that above everything she needed to stay strong. She couldn't be a wreck while Olivia was the one fighting like hell just to be able to take a breath without a machine.

After getting direction as to where they needed to go when they got to the hospital, the two made their way to ICU. Following the same instructions as before, they were suited up and made to scrub in before entering the room. Even though she had seen Olivia back at the hospital Alex still gasped as she saw her. Both of them taking a seat on each side of the bed.

"Would you like some alone time with her, Alex?" Cragen stood up and took Olivia's hand in his. "I'm going to check in at the precinct. I have a few things that I would like to say to the scum bag that is responsible for this."

"You're talking to the one responsible for it now. If Olivia wouldn't have came to my apartment when she did, she wouldn't have been shot. None of this would have happened." Alex barely spoke above a whisper.

"No Alex. You aren't to blame for this. Olivia was doing what she loved doing. Especially for the woman she loves. She would do it all over again if it meant protecting you. Being shot and all." Cragen went to put his arm around Alex's shoulders.

"I just can't help but feel like it's my fault." Alex looked down at the floor.

"But it isn't. You aren't to blame. I hope you soon realize that. You can't tear yourself up over this Alex. It will destroy you." Cragen patted Alex's shoulder lightly. "I'll be back up here later, okay?"

"Thank you." Alex looked up at the man and sighed. Maybe he was right but right now nothing was going to replace the guilt until she knew for sure Olivia would pull though.

As Cragen walked out of the room, Alex sighed. She wasn't leaving Olivia's side until she left the hospital. Taking Olivia's hand back into her own, she leaned down and kissed it.

"I need to see your big brown eyes Olivia. I need to hear you tell me you love me. I just need you to wake up." Alex started talking to Olivia. She knew in her heart she could hear her.

Alex jumped when the door opened. Looking back she saw a doctor walk in.

"Hello, I'm doctor Saundra Martinez." The female doctor held her hand out to shake Alex's.

"Alexandra Cabot. Is there anything new you can tell me about her condition?" Alex stood in front of the doctor, glancing at Olivia.

"Well, for starters I would just like you say that Ms. Benson here should pull through. Unless complication arise. Her vitals are the strongest I've seen since I started here nearly fifteen years ago. I've never seen anything like it after a gunshot wound to the chest. I'll definitely be keeping her on the machine for 48 hours. After that we can start slowly getting her off others. She's not completely out of the woods but she's getting there." The doctor wrote something on Olivia's chart and went over to the bed.

"So she's going to be okay?"

"She'll live through it. But that's not to say there won't be a long road of recovery ahead of her. We'll be taking her off the machines but as far as when she wakes up is all on her own time. I'll be back in to check on her in about a hour. Does she have any family we can contact?"

"She doesn't have any blood family. Our squad are the only people in her life she considers as family. As far as giving information I would like it to be kept between myself and Don Cragen. We can pass on the information from here." Alex ran her hand through her hair. She was trying to keep herself together.

"Thank you Ms. Cabot. I will let you know of any updates I have." The doctor turned towards the door without another word.

Alex sat there for a while as she lost track of time. She went between talking to Olivia and just sitting there staring at her. This time she didn't even acknowledge the doctor's presence when she entered the room. She knew that everything was still the same. The day continued on and Alex had followed the same routine. The last time the doctor came in, she was awoken by a hand on her shoulder. She had fallen asleep with her head resting on Olivia's bed still holding her hand.

"We normally do not allow someone to stay here in the rooms with our patients. Due to this particular case, I will allow you to stay. But if anything happens you will be asked to leave the room. There is a chair now over there for you to sleep in. It reclines back into a bed. It may not be the most comfortable thing, but it definitely beats sitting up in these chairs like you are." Doctor Martinez pointed to the corner and patted Alex's shoulder. "I was warned that you weren't going to leave earlier by your captain. Apparently you are just as stubborn as your detective counter part."

"Cragen was here?" Alex waited to reply to the rest of her statement. She didn't remember seeing him.

"He was here for a while. You were out. My shift is over and Doctor Allen Collins will be here for the night shift. I'll be back in the morning. I just wanted to check in before I left Ms. Cabot."

"I appreciate it doctor. Also, we will be seeing a lot of each other over the next- well however long it would be. Please, call me Alex." Alex stretched and stood up. She felt like she had been hit by a truck, her body was extremely stiff.

"As you wish ma'am. I promise we will be taking good care of Detective Benson. I'll see you tomorrow, Alex." With that she headed to the door and smiled.

"Again, thank you. I'll see you in the morning." Alex walked over to the window and looked out. It was already dark out and she was completely drained.

Alex was still staring out at the window when she heard the door open about fifteen minutes later. She expected to see a doctor walk in. Instead Cragen was back.

When he walked in he gave Alex a small smile. "You've got to be going crazy in here by yourself."

"A little. But I'm not leaving. Not until she does." Alex turned and leaned again the window.

"Anything I can get for you? Food, a certain book, maybe a pen and some paper?"

"All of that actually sounds nice. There's a book in the top drawer at the office. And a sketchbook underneath that. I appreciate it captain."

"I can arrange for Casey to get that and bring it to the precinct. Everyone is asking if they can come see her." Cragen pulled a chair over to the bed.

"It's not necessarily my call, but I would prefer they didn't overload Olivia. When they take the breathing tube out and I know she's going to be breathing on her own and strong enough to fight it, they can come as they please. But know I'm not leaving." Alex took a seat in her chair and took Olivia's hand.

"It's understandable Alex. And I know you're not going to leave her side. She's fighting and we both know why. She loves you counselor. She has for a while. Not that she would ever admit it to anyone before. Everyone knows it."

Alex couldn't help but smile as she heard the words come out of his mouth. "She's such a strong woman. It's her stubborn hard headed nature. She would never go down without a fight."

Alex stifled a yawn and squeezed Olivia's hand. "They'll be taking her off the machine tomorrow afternoon. Is there any way you could get those few items and some clothes for me. I'm sorry I'm asking for a lot."

"Alex I asked you what you needed. I'll make it happen." Cragen stood up and grabbed his coat. "I'll be here in the morning. Unless a case pops up. It has been relatively quiet around the squad room here lately."

"I appreciate it." Alex smiled. She wasn't used to seeing this side of Cragen. He was a lot different outside of work.

"See you in the morning Alex."

Alex watched as he left and sighed. Once again the only sounds that filled the room were that of the machines hooked up to Olivia.

She went and pulled the reclining chair next to Olivia's bed but far enough away so that the medical staff could reach her. Getting in the chair, she curled up under the blanket she was provided and watched Olivia's chest rise and fall as she slowly fell asleep.

**Oh I would also like to say thank you to **Mariskafan2364 **and **keonquil **you both have stuck with me and continued to review... Even if I fell off the face of the planet for a month. I appreciate you guys SO much. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: Thank you guys for all of your reviews one again. I would also like to say in advance, I'm sorry that this chapter might not be all that good. But I lost my uncle earlier this evening and was writing to keep my mind off of things. So once again I'm sorry.**

"Good morning, Alex." Doctor Martinez walked into the room, it was roughly 7:00am.

Alex opened her eyes and sat up. "Morning doctor."

"I'll be back in around noon to remove the ventilator."

"So she is for sure getting taken off?" Alex took a deep breath.

"Yes. I think she's strong enough. She'll slowly come out of the medically induced coma. As for when she wakes up though, that will all be up to her and her body."

Alex just wordlessly nodded. She was more scared in this moment than she was two days ago.

"She's strong Alex. And something is keeping her holding on – or someone." Doctor Martinez smiled and wrote down Olivia's vitals. "I'll be back in a bit."

Alex sat there and watched as the doctor left the room. She stood up and stretched before moving over to Olivia, kissing her on the forehead.

"You're going to be okay." Alex stood there holding her hand.

"Yes she will, but you also need to be taking care of yourself too."

Alex jumped and turned around when she heard a voice behind her. She saw Casey standing there with a bag.

"Cap sent me. They caught a case last night. Some of your things are in here and the nurse said there is a shower you can use at the end of the hall past the nurse's station."

Casey walked in and sat the bag down. "She needs you to take care of yourself too Al."

"I've not left her since she's got here."

"Twenty minutes Alex. Go shower and change. Get that done this morning so you can still be here if or when she wakes up this evening. She's a fighter and I don't see her being laid up here long."

"She won't be. I don't expect her to be awake tonight but tomorrow there is a strong possibility."

"Your girlfriend will be back to being her bad ass stubborn self soon. Now go shower." Casey handed Alex the bag and sat down. "Go counselor. You're not leaving her, just leaving the room."

Alex nodded and headed off to take a shower. She finally felt clean. After brushing her teeth and brushing her hair she headed back towards Olivia's room. Casey stood up when she saw Alex was back.

"I'm gonna get out of here, Alex. I'll see you hopefully when Liv is awake."

Alex nodded and gave her a small smile. "Thanks Case. I appreciate it. And thank you for not having her be alone." Unconscious or not Alex didn't want to be go without someone being there.

After the door closed, Alex pulled her sketch pad from her bag and started drawing. She lost track of time as nurses came in and out. She glanced at her phone when she heard Doctor Martinez come in. It was a quarter to twelve. Closing the book Alex smiled at the doctor.

"As we prepare to do this, we're going to ask you to step into the waiting room. I promise she's going to be okay." Doctor Martinez once again wrote down Olivia's vitals.

"But-"

"Alex, it's best you stay in the waiting room. I promise as soon as we're done you will be right back in here with her."

Alex knew she wouldn't win this one. Sighing she put her things in her bag and moved them to the cabinet. She walked up to Olivia and kissed her head. "I'll be right back." She whispered in her ear.

Alex walked to the door and sighed again.

As the day progressed Olivia's condition stayed the same. Even after the machines were unhooked, she was stable and there wasn't much change.

Alex had been curled up in her reclining chair since she got back into the room. Stifling a yawn she glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly ten. Glancing down at the page in front of her she smiled. It was of a certain spot in Central Park, the bench her and Olivia sat at when they went for walks. Closing it and putting it away Alex smiled again. She grabbed her blanket and pillow, making her makeshift bed.

The next morning Alex woke up to the sound of Doctor Martinez's voice. She quickly woke up and sat up, looking at the doctor.

"She made it through the night Alex. One more positive thing to add to the rest of the list. It's going to take her a while to come to, and even more time after than to become herself again fully. I just don't want you to get your hopes up too high that she would be okay right away." Doctor Martinez gave her a small smile.

"Thanks for your concern doctor, but I've gone through an incident similar to this myself. I know it will take her a while to get to where she was before the shooting."

"I'm just making sure Alex."

"I know doctor and I appreciate it." Alex stared out the window thinking about her own gunshot wound.

Doctor Martinez nodded and finished up writing down what she needed and headed for the door. "She's still fighting."

Alex smiled and moved her chair closer to Olivia's bed and held her hand. She spent the next hour and a half talking to Olivia. She reminded her of a lot of memories they shared, some older and some even new.

"You know, she's lucky to have you." Alex jumped and turned around to see Doctor Martinez standing there.

"I'm lucky to have her, just right now I'm not too sure that I deserve her. It's my fault she's laying here in the first place." Alex looked down and sighed.

"You're not responsible Alex. You didn't pull that trigger."

Alex looked up and opened her mouth to protest but stopped when out of the corner of her eye she saw small movements from Olivia's bed. Looking over she saw Olivia's eyes flutter but not open. She gently gave her hand a squeeze and felt a small squeeze in return. With tears in her eyes she looked up at the doctor who was now looking through Olivia's charts.

"She could go like this for a few days. She's trying to come to." Doctor Martinez gave Alex a smile.

"Liv, I'm here." Alex whispered trying not to let the tears fall.

Alex felt one more squeeze of her hand and the tears finally slipped down her face.

"Soon Alex." Doctor Martinez patted her shoulder and walked out.

Olivia's tiny movements carried on through the afternoon. It was a little after five when Cragen came in. Honestly Alex looked forward to having him come up. Other than the hospital staff he was the only communication Alex had.

"She's been a little active today." Alex smiled as the older man took his seat across from her. "A little flutter of her eyes and a few hand squeezes. She's trying to come back Cap."

Cragen took his hand into his and hand it. Making small talk, both had a hold of each of Olivia's hands. He was there for about a half hour before he felt a gentle squeeze. It wasn't much but signs of life were coming back to her.

"I was thinking earlier, it would be nice to have the team come up and see her. Definitely not all at once, but here and there. Maybe it will help her."

"That actually sounds good. I'll let them all know in the morning. Maybe have one or two up here at a time."

"Sounds good. I believe in my heart that she hears us, but she has to find her own way to wake up from all of this." Alex brushed her thumb over Olivia's hand and smiled.

"She has a long road ahead of her."

"A road she isn't going to have to go down alone." Alex said softly and smiled looking up at Cragen.

"As long as nothing about this affects work, I'm not saying anything to anyone. I'm sure the squad has already caught on and should be more than accepting. Been a long time since they've seen Olivia happy."

"I hope I can make her happy. This whole thing is new between us still."

"You will. There isn't a doubt in my mind. You're both hard headed and stubborn but at the end of the day there is a connection between you that many people can see. I'm going to get going Alex. I'll be back around noon before everyone else comes up here." Cragen stood and smiled at her.

Alex nodded in reply and curled back up in her chair. She stared out the window and looking at the city. She got lost in her thoughts watching as the cars passed below the building.

Snapping back into reality Alex pulled her book out and covered herself up. She was left with a smile on her face. She knew eventually things were going to be okay. It would take a while for it to get there but she wouldn't mind.

The next morning Alex woke up before Doctor Martinez made her rounds. Checking the time she knew she had a good hour before she would be coming in. Going into her bag, Alex grabbed a few things and headed down the hall to take a shower. It felt nice to finally be able to clear her head even if it were for just a bit.

Alex had made it back to Olivia's room right when Doctor Martinez was coming through the ICU doors. She left the door open, knowing that she would be in soon.

"Good morning Alex."

"Good morning Doctor." Alex flashed her a smile.

"You seem to be in a great mood this early in the morning."

"I am actually. Not sure why but it's happening."

Doctor Martinez laughed as she checked Olivia out."When she wakes up, and we insure that there will not be any more complications she will be moved to another room for at least a week."

Alex nodded and looked at Olivia. "She is not going to be happy about that. No matter the amount of pain she is in. You have heard a few stories, and I assure you they are all true."

"Seems like you have your hands full with her."

"Yeah but I wouldn't change her for the world." Alex paused and looked back at Olivia. "I think at some point today she's going to come out of it. I know you said not to get my hopes up but my gut is telling me otherwise."

"She could possibly but don't get too discouraged if it doesn't happen quite yet."

"I won't, but it's just a feeling I'm having."

"From a personal view, I hope that is true for your sake. You have only left her twice the whole time she has been here."

"And I won't be actually leaving until she is too."

"You're an amazing woman, Alex. Like I've said before she is lucky to have you. I've seen so many people come in and out of here leaving their loved ones alone for days."

"I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Especially when she was hurt protecting me. Always protecting me."

"You're more than deserving of her love Alex. Remember that."

Alex smiled, she knew that the doctor knew where she was going with that.

"I'll be back in a bit."

"Thank you." Alex smiled again as she saw her left.

She turned her attention back to Olivia and leaned to kiss her head softly.

"I need to see them eyes beautiful." Alex whispered in her ear before sitting back down. She knew it was going to happen soon.

**Author's note: Thank you for spending your time reading. As always review to let me know what you're thinking. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday no matter which one you celebrate. **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I appreciate all of the reviews so much! As promised if you have an idea I will more than likely use it! A big thanks to ShadowCub for a your idea. Happy reading!**

The rest of Alex's morning had gone by uneventfully. That was until the voice of Cragen echoed into the room startling her.

"I need to speak to you in the hall."

Alex raised her eyebrow at the older gentleman. She put her book down and went to the door.

"What's going on?"

"Come on and I'll explain." Cragen had her follow her into a small consultation room. Pulling out a file he sighed.

"You both will now have a protective detail. There will be someone outside the door at all times. We have reason to believe someone internally was the one who tipped Parker off. There should have been no reason you should have been found up there."

Alex narrowed her eyes and saw red. "Find out whoever did. My girlfriend is in there still fighting to come back to me. He better be lucky that the first time she shot at him only grazed him and the last one hasn't left him six feet under."

"Counselor we will find out who it is. Until then I don't want you guys here alone. The guys will up here. I have an officer in the waiting room. I was waiting to tell you before I made him stand guard."

Alex took in a deep breath and put her head in her hands. She didn't understand why things kept happening. All she wanted was to have Olivia awake and healthy.

"We will get him, Alex. Come down and get some coffee with me. I know you don't want to leave her any more than you have to but I think that it might do you some good to see something other than the ICU floor. We'll be gone fifteen minutes at the most."

Alex shook her head. "You tell me someone else could possibly be helping that psycho and you want me to leave her? No thanks."

"Officer Renaud will be right outside her door. I promise she will be okay."

"Oh and how might you know that he isn't the one that has been tipping Parker off?" The last week has put Alex on the edge. She watched the strongest woman she knew become a lifeless being in a hospital bed. Most of the day she spent surrounded by just the beeping of machines and nurses or doctors coming in and out.

"I ran an extensive background check on him before I came up here. He's clean. So come on. Come downstairs with me. Grab some coffee and breathe in fresh air. Remember, fifteen minutes and we will be up here."

"Fine." Alex didn't even feel like arguing any longer. Silently she turned to the door and made her way to the elevator with Cragen behind her.

Alex walked out of the hospital doors into the crisp air of the city. She took a few deep breaths and looked up. "Just let her come back to me. I don't usually talk to you and probably don't deserve it but God I need her." She whispered looking up to the sky.

She jumped when she felt someone's hand on her shoulder. Spinning around she saw Fin standing there.

"Damn baby girl. I'm sorry I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that."

"No you shouldn't have. My first instinct was going to be swinging." Alex stuffed her hands into her pockets and shook her head. Looking through the window she saw Cragen standing there with her coffee.

"Cap told me to come get you. Your coffee is done and you have a certain detective that you need to get back to."

"Just don't scare me again."

"I won't make a habit of it." Fin held the door open and waited for Alex to pass through.

The ride back up to ICU was quiet. Alex stared at her cup in her hands and was lost in her own thoughts. She jumped when the elevator dinged signaling that they were on the right floor. They last two weeks have make her so jumpy.

"Ms. Cabot, Doctor Martinez was looking for you. She would like to speak to you." A nurse caught her as they were about to walk into Olivia's room.

"Can you please let her know I have returned?"

The nurse nodded her head and paged the doctor. Alex stared at the wall. She didn't think she could handle any more bad news.

"Looks like we are just dodging each other this afternoon. Come on in here with me." Doctor Martinez led her to the room where Cragen and herself just were.

"What's wrong?" Alex immediately said as the door closed.

"I would like a neurologist to perform another EEG on Olivia. Just for extra precaution. I would just like to make sure things are still okay after being taken off of the vent."

"Do whatever you need to just as long as Olivia comes back to me."

"We are doing everything in our power to ensure that happens. With your consent we would like to take her down as soon as possible."

"I know it needs to be done, but her fellow officers will be here soon. Not for too long but they need to see her. I've been hoarding her to myself which isn't exactly fair."

"You've done what anyone would do. She didn't need to have a room full of commotion. I'll give you until 2:30. How does that sound?

"That's fine. I'll see you then." Alex left and made her way into Olivia's room. She was greeted by all of the guys.

"How did you get them to let you all back here?" Alex made a motion for Fin to get out of her seat.

"The power of badges. Plus we may have said they would have a pissed off Cabot on their hands."

"Using me for your own gain I see guys. Well we have about an hour and a half with Liv. They're taking her for an EEG."

The guys grumbled and surrounded Olivia. The atmosphere changed and there were nothing but positive vides in the room. Their time spent together as a unit flew by. Doctor Martinez was shocked to see so many people in the room.

"Neuro is ready for her Alex." She walked in and smiled at the group. A nurse had followed her in and took the pulse oximeter off of her and silencing the machine.

Alex sighed and kissed Olivia's head. Leaning down to whisper in her ear to where no one else would hear she told her she loved her.

"We will have her back up here in about an hour. You guys can choose to stay in here or out to the waiting room."

"Doctor, Olivia must have an officer be with her from now on. I have a uniformed officer outside that will follow you down." Cragen stood up and shook her hand.

"Very well sir." Doctor Martinez nodded and left the room while the nurse prepared to transport Olivia.

"Alex when was the last time you have eaten?" Cragen looked at her.

"Uh… I can't even eat if I wanted to Cap. I try and it just doesn't work out well. My nerves are shot."

"You've got to get something into your system. Yours and Olivia's diner is down a couple blocks. One of them is going to run to get you something to eat. So what would you like?"

"I'll be fine."

"No you are going to eat. We can't have you waste away to nothing."

"Fine, I would like a turkey club. As far as eating it, I'll try."

"Getting a little in you is better than nothing."

Alex nodded and looked back at the floor. When she looked back up Stabler was slipping back into the door. She hadn't even notice him leaving. He whispered something in Cragen's ear and knew it was something important.

"Stabler go grab lunch and Munch and Fin, get your asses to the precincts."

All in unison they gave him a "Yes sir." And made their way out.

"Are you planning on telling me what that was about?" Alex looked at him bewildered.

"We think we have found the snitch. Parker is the second cousin to one of the interns. They're finishing up connecting the dots."

"I just want this nightmare to end."

"Soon enough Alex, things will fall back into place."

The two fell into a comfortable silence that was broken when Elliot walked in with their lunch.

Alex looked up from her food when she felt the two men stare as she picked at her sandwich. "Staring at me like you are isn't going to make me eat faster."

"We're just worried that's all."

"I'm going to be fine, as long as Olivia's okay. Then that's when you have to start worrying."

"No you're one of our own. We worry about you regardless."

A smile crept across her face. She knew she had grown closer to those of the 1-6 than her own family.

"Olivia loves you Alex. I don't see her leaving you. She's too stubborn for that." Elliot smiled at her and looked at their captain. "What? She never actually admitted it to me, but I've known since the first day Alex walked into the squad room."

Alex's cheeks blushed as she heard about him talk about Olivia. She had felt the same way but never in a million years that should would have a chance with her.

Not too long later Olivia was wheeled back in. Alex smiled as she saw Olivia.

"Results shouldn't take too long and Doctor Martinez will be in to explain them to you." The nurse hooked Olivia back up before leaving.

Alex took a hold of Olivia's and kissed it. Elliot watched as Alex showed a completely different side to her. Even when they went out for drinks Alex was still a hardened ADA. Right now she was the opposite. No wonder Olivia fell for her. She found the Alex that no one else knew.

**A/N: I was going to drag it out, but I do believe things shall change next chapter! Send me your thoughts! **


	10. Chapter 10

"You're a dead man walking, Goodman." Fin and Munch walked into the interrogation room and trough a file on the table.

"How so detectives? I didn't do a damn thing. All I know is I came into work and was being cuffed and read my rights as I was being arrested for something involving Benson."

"Playing stupid now? You know damn well why you're sitting in the damn room!"

"Enlighten me." Alec Goodman sat there with a smug look on his face.

"Fine, you want to act like you're stupid let's break this down nice and fast for you. You're going down as an accessory for attempting to murder one of our own officers. You didn't cover your tracks as well as you thought you did." John leaned in and saw the color drain from the other man's face.

"Give it up. We all know you told Parker where Alex and Olivia were. Found the copy of the files in your desk. It explains what you had been doing being here earlier than everyone else."

"You guys locked up the last family member I had! I finally got him out of that hell hole and then let him do what he needed to do."

"How nice of you to be admitting to yet another crime. And you don't worry about getting him out this time, both of you will be rotting in that hellhole together."

Alec shut down and stared at Fin. "I want my lawyer."

"Very well then, although I have you confessing, don't think your lawyer could do much to help you now." Fin picked up the file and 'accidentally' hit him with the file as they made their way out of the room.

"They're both going down. Any word on how Olivia is doing today?" Casey was standing there looking into the glass.

"While we were there, they took her for an EEG. Stabler is still there. It's now just a waiting game until she wakes up. Alex is still a complete wreck."

"No word on when she will be awake?"

"It's all a waiting game still." Fin shook his head.

"We're heading back up to the hospital in a bit."

Casey just nodded and stared back into the interrogation room.

Back at the hospital, Alex hadn't let go of Olivia's hand in the last hour. She needed her girlfriend to wake up.

Alex Elliot and Cragen all sat around the room watching the rise and fall of Olivia's chest. Each one of them completely quiet. Glancing over at Alex the two men saw tears starting to form in her eyes. It was clear she was struggling internally.

"Alex?" Elliot placed his hand gently on her shoulder.

"What if she doesn't wake up and her EEG results are abnormal. What if something else is going on and she isn't coming back. I can't live without her." Alex shook her head trying to stop the tears.

"She's stubborn Alex. She isn't going to stop fighting. Liv will be back to being a bad ass before we know it."

"She's strong Alex. She isn't going to get you then leave you." Cragen looked at the blonde.

"But..."

"No buts Alex." Elliot cut her off. "We can't sit here and think negatively. Olivia will pull through. The test results will come back and it'll be okay."

"He's right." Alex looked up and saw the doctor walk in.

"Regarding what?"

"Her results are in Alex. Her brain activity is normal. It just takes time for some people to come out of this." Doctor Martinez walked in and gave Alex a small smile.

"Then why won't she wake up?" Alex said barely above a whisper.

"She'll be awake before you know it. The longer she is under though Alex, the faster her recovery while she is alert will be. Less stress and no strain on her wounds. I know it's tearing you up inside, but right now she is already past where she should be."

Alex just nodded and stared at Olivia again. "Can I have a few minutes with her? I will get you guys in a few."

They all nodded and got up to give Alex her space.

Alex crawled up next to Olivia carefully. She laid her head down and cried.

"You shouldn't be up there with her Alex. I'm not going to tell you to get down and I'm not going to stay long. I just came back to let you know the guys received a call." Doctor Martinez was standing in the doorway.

"Thank you." Alex dried her tears and looked up.

"Keep holding on."

With that Alex watched the doctor walk out and close the door behind her.

"Come on Olivia. Fight for me." Alex felt completely helpless. No matter what she did, she couldn't fix this.

Slowly she fell asleep still clinging onto the unconscious woman.

Before she knew it, Alex was gently being woken up. She jumped looking up at the woman standing above her.

"Sorry Doctor Martinez."

"I'm just letting you know that I will be leaving soon and shift change is about to happen. Night shift may not be as lenient also."

Alex nodded and kissed Olivia's cheek getting out of the bed. She had been asleep nearly two hours.

"I'll see you in the morning."

"Thank you Doctor."

"You're welcome dear."

Alex was once again left alone when the doctor left. She leaned her head against the bed rail and then looked up. It was all starting to take an emotional toll on her.

"Alex?" Alex shot up when she heard her name being called from the door. She saw Casey standing there.

"Hey." She said softly.

"Thought you could use something to eat and maybe use a little company."

"I appreciate it."

Casey handed her her food as they fell into a silence.

"What happened earlier? No one has told me anything after the guys left."

"Well, we found out who was leaking information. He's been arrested and currently in a cell right along with Parker. The guys caught another case so they'll be hit and miss around here again."

Alex just nodded. Their lives were still going on while she felt hers was continuously crumbling.

"You don't have to be so held together Alex. We aren't at work and you're human." Casey saw the pain in Alex's eyes. "You can break down when you need to."

"I'm always composed and can handle my emotions. I have to, if not I'll come unglued and that will not be good for her." Alex tried to stop the tears from pooling up again.

Casey wordlessly wrapped her arms around Alex. The blonde let a few tears fall before composing herself again.

"She's going to be okay."

Casey took her seat again and looked up at Olivia. Even though Olivia's chances of waking up were so high there was still that small chance that Olivia wouldn't come out of it. No one wanted to bring that up though.

Alex picked at her food and sighed. She got up and pulled her sketch book from her things. Flipping it open she put it in front of her.

"Never knew you could draw like that."

"I haven't done it in forever. Just something that keeps my mind busy. I don't need help with that much. Well I hadn't before the last few weeks."

"It's your way of coping. I get it."

Alex nodded and smiled. She could throw herself into a sketch and time would fly.

"I'm gonna go ahead and get out of here Alex. Let me know if I can do anything for you."

"Thank you."

Soon after Casey left, the night staff came and went. Alex knew she would have a bit so she lay back in the bed. Her tears fell freely this time as she talked to Olivia.

"I need you, Liv."

"You have me."

Alex shot straight up at the words that were barely mumbled out. Olivia's eyes were slowly opening.

"Liv." Was all Alex could get to come out. She sat there with tears falling down her cheeks.

Soon Olivia was looking at Alex with her eyes completely opened. Alex pressed her forehead against Olivia's staring into her eyes.

"You're awake. You're really awake." Alex was still crying.

"I'm here." Olivia went to cup Alex's cheek with her left hand and winced in pain.

"Stop trying to move around. I have to go get someone." Alex flew out of the bed and into the hall to get a nurse.

Everyone was happy to see Olivia up. Alex still had tears of joy rolling down her face.

Once the nurses did what the needed to Olivia and Alex were left alone. They hand Olivia sitting up and gave her some pain medication.

Olivia's voice was hoarse from not being used but Alex closed her eyes tightly when she heard her speak. She was afraid it was a dream.

"Alex."

"Yeah baby?" Alex was sitting in her chair next to her.

"Come back up here?" Olivia slowly moved herself over in the bed.

"You're awake and can actually feel me up there. What if I hurt you?"

"I will be okay Lex. I just need you closer. I feel like complete shit and groggy. The pain meds are kicking in."

Alex slowly slipped in next to Olivia and held her hand.

"I've missed you so much."

"I'm here baby."

"Stay with me?"

"I had no intentions of leaving once I was up here."

"Good because I'm getting sleepy."

The medicine was hitting Olivia like a ton of bricks. Alex slowly pressed the button to recline the bed. She still couldn't believe she was really awake.


End file.
